:'(

well..this post is actually an obituary..for my dear old computer which died out a couple of months back. i have no clue where to begin from!! :( cos he was so dear to me..the comp.. :(
now..replacing my dear "old" (literally!) comp is a young n smart pc with a wide LCD screen. and i dont know why, but i hate him to the core! :( i miss you..my old comp..:(

so..here goes five things i miss about you. <3*

1. the poor sound systems. the loose contacts. i miss the way i used to be annoyed when my favorite song stops just like that because of those stewpid loose contacts with the sound system.
n now..when i sit back..enjoying the songs from this comp,i wait for the music to stop (n for me to be annoyed! lol..) but that never happens..this new comp is so perfect..dammit! x(

2.The poor monitor. the way it goes all black..abruptly..when i'm watching this favourite video of mine.. =P
the new screen is so wide that it takes like about a minute to just look from one end to the other! :( my old comp's screen was so small n cute. i miss that! :(

3.He improved my typing skills! :)* i love him hell a lot for that! <3
the letters in the keyboard werent visible..the whole keyboard was so worn out! due to my constant hitting n scratching on it of course.. =P n i had to make wild guesses on which key is for which letter.. =P lol.

4.Ow..n the CPU thingy..i used to hit him real hard at times..:( the UPS that gave weird screeching noises whenever the power went off..i miss him big time! :((

5.The mouse with coloured lights. :) which i looked at,with great curiosity,as a kid..

Well..that's it i guess. :( i miss you so much!!
you were so imperfect..and wonderfully weird. :)

Arent there any critics around?. :O

bah..my blog's been so *dead* these days..innit?. :(
People like caroline have been constantly pissing me off asking me when i'm gonna update my blog..and i'm tired breaking all the promises i made to her..so..caro..here you go! :) 
Okay..now that i've decided to update my blog..One thing that struck me was that i was totally topic less..what to write about?. :(  I almost gave up the idea of updating my blog and started going through the comments when a thought struck me. THERE WERE NO CRITICISMS! only comments like "i love your blog".."its ossum"..n all that.. :( .. everyone needs a change..dont they?. it annoyed me..like totally!
 I remember my dad happily reading the criticisms about his article in a magazine..that surprised me back then..how come he was happy that someone criticized him?. :O weird.. i thought.
but now i guess can understand that.

Inviting healthy criticisms. :) :)

 Love you all! <3

My diary :)

i was searching through for my i pod in my cupboard..and it was a whole lot of mess..all my clothes,posters,wallet,slam books and millions of other teeny-weeny things had formed a huge heap inside my cupboard.i was shaking and shifting that huge heap of my stuff when something fell down with a thud.i looked down to see the long-forgotten diary of mine. [oww..dun think dat i'm a regular diary writer or anythn! :p i hav taken resolutions for lyk..millions of times..dat i'd write my in my diary everyday..i'd either be lazy about writing or else i'd just forget that i've got 2 write..i srsly envy people who write diaries daily..i wish i could do dat too! :( ] 

then i flipped through the pages of my diary..it had all kinds of things..lyrics from my favourite song,graffiti,my thoughts and what not.? :P and i bet you wont believe me when i tell you this.but the first few entries in my diary were written when i was nine or something..:P seriously! [now..isnt dat kinda weird.? keeping the same diary for lyk..7 years or something.?and i'm just waiting for dis diary to get over so that i can just take my favourite diary out n start writing in that! i hav a whole lot of diaries wimme..:P :) :D well..me finishing that diary.? i dun think that's gonna happen..that would take..years..decades.. centuries..:Por whatever..a very long time,that's what i mean..]
My diary is so very special as it has my entries as a nine year old..and till now..oops..dont think that its a gigantic diary to fill my whole school life into it.its like,a collection of,very random,discontinuous entries..and its almost like 5 or 6 entries per year..yea..seriously!! :P [by now,you'd noe dat i'm a lazybone! :P ;]
and the things i've written in there..omg..they're all so embarrassing! [i get embarrassed with almost everything..but this isnt like that! there r some real embarrassing stuff in there..trust me!! ]
but even though all those entries are super-embarrassing,they are really special in some weird way.its almost like i have a time turner with me and i am reliving my past years..:) I laughed at the stewpid and silly things i used to cry for,as a kid. [when i was nine,i had a contest with my classmate for the maximum number of "good"s on my notebook..and sadly,i lost the conto by the difference of one "good"..:( :P
and i kinda caused a havoc in the class.i cried n made scenes n what not.? :P
and then in 6th grade,i cried because i was made the class monitor! ]
my stomache ached..laughing at all this.! :p  
but some entries..i almost cried reading them..seriously..the fun i had with my old friends..my old school..life at chalakudy.. how much miss all that!
And it felt really weird when i realized that i laughed reading the things i cried about..and i cried reading about the fun..the laughter! [now..isnt this real bizarre.? ]

And i sat on my bed for god knows how long..reading..thinkin'..staring at the pages..:)
ow..my diary is truly amazing..:P I could actually see the tiny little me grow reading that! [or lets say.."evolve"] into what i am now.. :) 

"what's in a name.? " "EVERYTHING"

i totally hate my name.. "MEDHA.V" [the initial "v" makes it worse..duh!!]  n there are clear reasons why..
okay..let me tell you the "history" behind my stewpid name..[most of you might know it..but still..:P ]
my parents used to live in Pune before i was born..n i guess they used to love the life there.."medha" is a very common name over there. [even the name of the doctor who checked my mom when she had me was medha!]
so when i was born,they named me "medha" as a remembrance of pune n their life there..now now,how cruel.. :(
just because they like the place,they cant name their kid [aka meh!! =) ] with the weirdest name of the place!!
i've always hated my name and i still do..but mom n dad claim that there's no name better than this one..DUH!!
they could have named me with cute names..like.."iris" or something..:( why MEDHA.?!
something that makes me hate my name even more is the way people pronounce it..sometimes it would be "metha" [which embarrasses me to the core..] and "megha" the most common..i get so pissed off when people mispronounce my name..mispronouncing makes my name sound horribler!! [is there anything horribler thab the word horribler.?! naw..i dont think so..=P thats the limit! ]
and the initials..omg..! "V" :((  sometimes people read my name and my initial together.."MEDHAVI"  [which means "leader" in malayalam..] i even had a teacher in my 5th grade who was like.."hmm..medhavi..thats your name? your name has it! i think i should make you the class leader!"  i thought she was joking..but omg..she was serious..she made me the class monitor the next day..and i proved to be the worst class monitor ever.! :P
[i talked along with the other students!! :P class monitor had the license to talk..:P]
and there's another teacher who made me a member of the school environmental club or something of the sort because my name was medha..["wow..your name is medha! nice name nice name..i should surely make you a member of the environmental club..after all your name comes after the great environmentalist medha patkar..you know!" ]
people always compare me to medha patkar when they hear my name..me n medha patkar..yea! :O
i feel so "i-dunno-what" when i hear that..[not that i hate medha patkar or anything..i love her n the passion with which she speaks! :) its just that i hate being compared! with anyone..be it in a good sense or bad..i hate it..]
 and i remember another teacher who misread my "medha" as "mehta" and asked me if was a north indian n whether "mehta" was my surname..n i remember standing infront of her like a stone..not able to bear my embarrassment!
and my name is so rare [especially in kerala..] that you never find another person with your name..i envy all those with very common names because they can see their names on boards,as names of bakeries, as the name of a film heroine, names of restaurants,gift shops..:[ i've never seen "medha" anywhere! but yes..once i've seen a flourescent orange bus with bright blue writing on it.."MEDHA TRAVELS" i was overjoyed seeing that! i was happy the whole day! :D i actually saw my name on a bus..unbelievable! :P
and i even managed to find a girl whose name is "medha"..my dad's friend's daughter..hehhee..:D
i felt so happy to know that her name was medha too! :P

but then..there's another name i totally love! :) n thats "medz"..
err..who named me "medz".?  ehem ehem..its me who invented that name..for myself..:P  [pretty cool..huh?] more than the way it sounds..i like the fact that it was ME who started that out.and i wanted people to call me that.so from one fine morning,i started calling myself "medz"..:) [and that felt so damn good! :)] i started signing in people's slam books as "medz"..i changed my orkut name to "medz"..
so slowly my friends started calling me that..they started saving my number in their phones with the name "medz"..they wrote in my slam book.."dear medz" n stuff like that..:P
but then..everyone aint good at pronouncing "medz"..some of my besties are damn good at it though..especially kitty..i love it when she calls me medz! :) hers is the "perfectest" pronounciation in d whole wide world..:P [i mean the way she says "medz"..nothin else! :P ]
and guess what.? people even started making nicknames out of "medz"..like "medzie" n all..:P
hehhee..:D i know it sounds real weird..but its way better than "medha"! :P

Favourite ♥ w.o.r.d ♥

would it sound weird if i tell you that my favorite word and its "butterfly" .? [what.? you have a favorite what.? WORD.? are you in kindergarten.?  ]
believe it or not..recently i have become what you call an 'ardent admirer' [is that the right word.? =O err..] of the word "butterfly".. :)
i dont know why i'm crazy about this word..maybe because butterflies are one of the very few things in nature that amazes me..there's something charming about a butterfly..the striking colors and the swift flutter of its wings..
the best thing about the word is that it is a combo of two very very cute words.."butter" and "fly".. :)
'Butter' reminds me of the times when my grandmother gave me a handful of freshly taken butter..i remember gulping down the first handful and asking her for more..
and about 'fly'..for me fly = freedom..floating in air carefree!
i wonder why butterflies were named this way..i can agree with the 'fly' part..but what about 'butter'.?
[any ideas..anyone.? :) I'd love to know your version! ]
i pondered over these stewpid things all day long..and ended up being totally clueless..i felt silly..like totally!
a few days after that,i felt so happy when i found out that one of besties has a favorite word too! when i asked her what her favourite word was..she told me dat its "estewpedee" .. for a moment i thought that it was some complicated word i havent even heard of..but the next thing my bestie told made me burst out with laughter..it was not even a word..and she seemed so sad about it..paavam..=P

friends..forever..:)

tight as a knot we're bound together
although we're young we'll promise to be friends forever..
you are a gem..so precious and rare..

you convert my tears to smiles..
you lend me your shoulders to cry on
and you hold me tight when i'm shaken..

we spent our days together with joy and glee
we laughed till our stomaches ached..
and we did the craziest of things together..

walking in the rain..
fighting for a cornetto..
the laughter..the fun..the pranks played at school..

you made my life colourful..
you made each day seem new..
made my life woth living..

but as i look back..i think..
what have i done for you..
and i find no answers..i'm totally clueless..

i may not always see it
when you stumble and fall..
i may not always know it
when you're helpless and there's noone for you to call..
i may not always hear you
when you cry in bed at night..

you may not always like me
and we wont just get along..
sometimes i may screw things up
and would never admit that i was wrong
i know that i'm nowhere near perfect..

but i promise you..
that i'll stick with you through thick and thin..
i'll be there..to mend your broken heart
and to try and make you smile..
'cos you gave me memories so vivid..
and i ought to pay back for those..


this one'x foe kitty n geet..my bezties at skul.!
i miss yew so very mch! :(

the lamest article eva written! :P

i was heading to go to bed when i suddenly remembered that i had my chemistry to complete.it was already 9.30 and i had just returned
after my tuitions.one part of my brain kept telling me.."medz! you know that you're tired..why care about that goddamn assignment.? go SLEEP!!"  at the same time..another part told me.."dont you dare not do the assignment! you've got to do it darling.! "
i yearned to sleep on my warm and cozy bed..i was so very lazy.!
but then the goodie-good part of me made me head to my study table.i started working out my chemistry numericals.i aint getting anything! >X
mann..i'm damned.! :(    >X
err..wait..i think i know this one.my brain had just come to the right track when a piercing sound stopped me.it came from my clock!
yea..my pink mickey mouse clock had just started beeping..violently!!
now now..my clock aint like this all the time..its a creepy cute pink thing that sits at the extreme left corner of my studytable.i ignore it..like totally! i dont even look at it to check the time..:P [ i run downstairs to look at the clock in the drawing room instead! i noe..this is insane..]
now this stupid thing has stolen all my attention for the first time since i bought that thing!
and the noise it was creating..was unbearable!! omg! it kinda pierced through my eardrum..
mm..okay..i can fix this thing..i thought
then i fumbled on the keys and buttons at its back.no use!! it just continued beeping..on and on..n this irritated me to death!
okay..there;s got to be some other way..i thought..and then i hit hard behind that damn thing with feeble hopes that those beeps would stop..somehow..
but it didnt do any good! except for that red mark on my palm..
now i was totally pissed off..those beeps reminded me of reality shows where we'd only hear a beep when people shouted swear words at each other.i even felt that the clock had some solid grudge on me..n it was taking revenge by yelling swear words at me..
[how insanely lame..isnt it.?! :O this is the extent to which my imagination goes when i'm crazy! :P ]
my iritation grew out of bounds..i couldnt concentrate on chemistry anymore..so here i am writing this crazily stewpid and totally silly thing
about my pink clock..:P yea..my clock..:O eww..

When i saw a rainbow..for the first time

One day,mom,my little bro and me were walking urgently through the crowded city,heading somewhere.And the weather
was totally bright and sunny.but then there was a slight drizzle.And my bro suddnely asked my mom "its sunny n its raining too..where is the rainbow.?" And then i was like "rainbow.? oh cummon..be real! they appear only in story books and fairy tales.!"
my bro could not accept the fact that rainbows dont always appear.for him,if there is the sun and the rain,then there has to be a rainbow!
He looked at mom..with disbelief in his wide eyes.My mom tried to explain that you wouldn't always see rainbows.but my bro still didnt believe it.
And then mom said to him.."Remember when we were in payyannoor..when we saw a rainbow in the sky.? how beautiful the sight was! "
and both of them got crazy and over excited and started talking crazily about it..while i listened..though totally disinterested..thinking
about something else.Mom disturbed me from my deep thoughts and asked "have you ever seen a rainbow?" and i said "no.."
My mom couldnt believe it..She then started talking like i'm deprived of something very essential.She was actually sad for me!
And i was like "what's there in a rainbow.? i dont care whether i've seen it or not!" Now..i'm someone who cant take in the beauty of nature.
I mean..when i see something beautiful around..a rare butterfly or a colourful hummingbird,i'll think, "okay..its beautiful"..but i dont get excited
or poetic when i see those.but mom is like..totally different.! She just cant accept the fact that i dont feel happy or excited when i come across
the beauties of nature! i walked on..totally annoyed..when my bro suddenly blurted out.."I told you there would be a rainbow! see i found it out! "
I suddenly turned to see my mom n bro literally jumping on the footpath..totally hyper excited..their mission of finding a rainbow successful.
"why the hell are they geting all hyper.?" i thought..
Only then did i look at the sky.And there it was. "THE" rainbow..there it was..like a huge glittering arch! :)
I could all those seven colours..I dunno what i did..but i was gaping at it..wide eyed..i'd never seen anything so beautiful before..
But then..when i looked around me,i saw the bustling city..the busy people..people in bikes overtaking each other..
people barely noticed this beautiful thing in the sky..it was like there was a roof above them and they couldnt see what was going on in the sky.
I wanted to shout out "HEY PEOPLE!! YOU'VE GOT A RAINBOW IN THE SKY..JUST LOOK AT IT!! " But obviously..i didnt..
This little memory was very very special to me..in numerous ways.One of them being that its the first time could actually take in the beauty of nature..And ofcourse,that made my hands feel itchy..:P and that's how this article was born!

twilight

"about three things i was absolutely positive..
first, edward was a vampire
second,there was a part of him,i didnt know how dominant that part might be,that
thirsted for my blood
third,i was i was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him"

these are my favourite lines from the book 'twilight' by stephenie meyer.i've read this book nearly ten times and i'm still not bored with it! i'm totally crazy about this book.
well,my friends were crazy about it even before i was.all of them used to go bonkers,talking about it.
and once i cut into their deep conversation and asked them what twilight was [yea..i hadnt even heard about twilight at that time..] ,
my friends literally jumped up from their seats [like they had springs fitted on their seats..:P ] and asked me, "you dont know what twilight is? shame on you! "
i was surprised.what's so special about this book..i thought. i pressed my friends to tell me more about it but all i got from them was that it was a vampire romance novel.my first reaction to it was like, "vampires.? and romance? are my friends crazy?!"
soon,twilight was all my class talked about.reading twilight almost became an entry pass to the so-called "in" crowd of the class.i felt so left out amongst all of them.
thats when i decided that i should read this book,no matter what.and after that,there was no looking back.
i just plunged into the depths of the book.i've never read something so gripping before!

the story is from the narrative of bella swan,a simple and silent girl. 17 year old bella falls in love with the mysterious,the perfect,edward cullen,who,as she later finds out,is a 104 year old vampire.
bizarre..isnt it.?!  not if you've read the book!
another 'supernatural' creature that comes in the book are werewolves.bella's friend,jacob black belongs to a werewolf family.
in this book,stephenie meyer talks about creatures like vampires and werewolves with such simplicity,
that you feel they're natural beings.
after reading twilight,i almost started believing that such creatures actually exist! [No..i havn't gone crazy or anything! wait till YOU read the book! ]

and about the romance part,twilight isnt like those cheesy,"guy-stands-on-his-knees-and-proposes-the-girl-with-a-bunch-of-redroses" [phew! that was long! :P] kind of a book.
the love,romance between edward and bella is very intense,natural and above all "human".
the romance part is written so amazingly well that you'd read those parts over and over again! i myself read it trillions of times!
bella's fascination for edward is etched in every word and every line she speaks.she compares edward to everything  beautiful and handsome..right from a runway model to a greek god!

the ending of the story,though,is quite typical.its the same old 'damsel in distress' kind of a story,where edward heroically saves bella from the clutches of an "evil" vampire.win of good over evil..end of the story!
its all so obvious in the ending.but the story has a special magic/charm of its own.you'll never put the book down until you finish reading it!


PS : this is supposed to be a book review.but after re-reading the whole thing,i guess it has turned into something else! so..please bear with me..and yes,i may have left out many important points of the story.. do let me know if there is something like that!

..

i'm totally clueless about what's with me these days.i've gone kind of crazy..or lunatic is the right word i guess! maybe its the exam stress [well..i'm not worried or stressed out because its exams now.but the whole "EXAM" atmosphere deppresses me!]  or maybe its just that i dont get to meet my friends so often. i've got no clue about what's making me do this but i write like crazy these days!
earlier,,it used to be like,,some little poems and stories now and then.
but now its like,i dont know,,everything's just too much!
i scribble all my creations [most of them totally bizarre] into an old notebook of mine.and as soon as i finish writing,i read it once more.and  in a reflex,i'd either cut the whole thing out and say things like, "eww..is that what you call a poem?!" and "omg..why do my writings have to be so lame?!"..

there's this long thing i wrote about my tenth standard.my impressions about tenth at the beginning,,thinking that it would be dreadfully boring and realizing later that my preconceptions were so very wrong! i wrote about how much fun we all had..the fights for each other's lunchboxes..snatching food from the others..the whole class and one icecream..the exam time..the embarrassing moments..the times i cried and so on..
i remember writing,rewriting and editing this thing.and after all this "hardwork" , all i did was just strike the whole thing off!

another thing i wrote was about my tuition classes.about the fun i had with  my tuition mates..our tuition teacher..about how we used to climb the walls there and get scoldings from people.
about how i miss tuition and my friends from other schools now..
and i named it "tuitions are not only about studies" . it turned out to be kind of good but i abandoned that article halfway through!

and there were those lame poems of mine.ohh..they were pathetic!
i wrote about each and everything in this whole universe! from stars and the moon,the rain and the sunshine to chocolates and black nailcolor.. [yes..! a poem about "black nailcolor" ..!! omg! how crazy my ideas turn out to be..even i cant predict my actions sometimes! ]

those poems and stories i struck off and tore out,instead of discouraging me,has 'inspired' me to write this one and ofcourse,,to post it here! :)
after all,no one else can write the way i do..:)

my soul sister..

i'm not sure about where to begin or where to start..
all i really know is that this poem is from my heart..
this may sound confusing - it is for me too..
but i'm ready to begin this poem specially for you..

i wonder how you know it
when i cry reading those long mails of yours..
i wonder how you laugh with me
over my stupid jokes and silly thoughts..
i wonder how your words could console me
from far away when i cry over the phone..
i wonder how you could stand
those dumb girly talks of mine..
i wonder how you could stand it
when i fought with you over things
that werent really your fault..

the best thing ever was finding a friend just like you..
you've let me be who i am..
and tell you how i feel..
however stupid or silly that is..

sometimes i feel like telling you
"thanks for all you've done!"
but those words fly from my head
as fast as they come..

i think what you've done
deserves more than just a thanks..
and that' exactly why
i've penned down this one for you..
love you loads..
you're my angel..my soul sister..!!



[this one's dedicated to my friend n sister n cousin..geethu..:) luv u ]